ACTS Four,

These days i think its been getting a little harder, time and time again im just seeing comrimise and its disheartening.  I feel like a lot of the ways that we view God is this icture erfect God that loves us and cares for us a father loves his child.  But we choose never to see the bad sides, because honestly we dont feel what these unishments are in this own life.  We never look beyond what we dont wish to see, and thats the disheartening art.  God hates wickedness, i feel like thats something each and every single erson forgets on a daily basis, and thats what making me feel down.  I feel like sin, although i havent turned away myself from things like orn, masturbation, lust, anger, bitterness, cheating, i havent truly reented and turned away that im trying.  And im not doubting that others arent trying but when i hear words that shouldnt be said because its the outouring of your heart, couldnt there be other words to be said, if God was really imortant in our lives couldnt that be the case.  Wouldnt it?  Its hard, for real, its so hard.  Being an older brother in Christ im struggling with that, even tonight as i think about it, i feel like a lot of the younger eole are coming, is that all we need to exect, yeah its great that they come but if we feed their hearts with this i wanna love you Jesus and i will die for you, and i trust in you MUMBO JUMBO, (which isnt mumbo jumbo) but if they dont live it out is that true trust.  I feel like we need to grow, myself SOO much, I FALL SOO SHORT. SOO O SHORT, and even as im u there its so hard trying to our my heart out to God sometimes because in my life i dont treat him like i should, i dont ut the caital G in God but i ut the caital in my own name, where i ut myself first.

We need to trust, not just say it, but do it, we talk to much, even myself.  HHAA =) and if your reading this, i want you guys to know that im in no way judging you guys hahaha =) i always judge myself first, and the harshest and if i do come off as some bossy iece of junk, lease i mean it for the best of this church.  I want growth, not for my sake but for his, because a lot of us say it, College is suossed to be where we grow a lot, but what kind of growth is it that we attemt to grow in, Gods? or the WOrld? are we striving to be on fire, or cold (Lukewarm, same thing) because God will sit us out, 

God hates wicked ness

That came from roverbs.  

WICKEDNESS, we need to know that God is caable of wrath, he hates sin, and when his children sin, 

I did read acts also, i dont jum around, i read different arts of the bible, so i still read acts. 

roverbs Nine,

The Lord detests the way of the wicked, but he loves those who ursue righteousness

so we need to get off with our comlacent attitudes of our members just coming to church, we need more, we need fire, we need true growth following true reentence, with the desire to change. 

Acts Two,

Chater Three in Acts,

Verse Six, 

then eter said, "silver or gold i do not have, but what i have i give you.  In the name of Jeuss Christ of Nazareth, walk. 

lain and simle we need to ray more. man do we need to ray more. if we dont, how are we even "relying" on God. There isnt anything to rely on if we dont ask, if we dont tell him.  We must sto being lukewarm, God will sit us out, we need to get our lamstand.

lain and simle. we need to get started.

This spirit, its within me... US!

The Holy of the Holys?,  Acts TWO!

now what is weird is that in the ast some of my friends would tell me DUDE! GOD SOKE TO ME YESTERDAY! and i would be soo encouraged, because it was the way God did it, by the random icking of a assage by oening u the bible and it will encourage you by having the verse deal with what you need, at the right time.  This one is kind of weird because as i was so discouraged i would never do that because it seemed as if God, never, NEVER soke to me.  haha but tonight i think hes trying to show me something more, like the holy sirit kind more, for a while ive been struggling with the idea of the holy sirit, for a while i havent had the slightest idea of what the holy sirit really was, as some of my friends make jookes that i dont know who he is.  I feel like as i rayed before i did my time of quiets... haha he is trying to show me what it really is to be in the sirit. 

haha =) 

so here goes, 

Verse SEVENTEEN, 

In the last days, God says, I will our out my sirit on all eole.  Your sons and daughters will rohesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams.

And even though this verse will have different meanings for each individual it seaks to, but for me it does tell me what the sirit kind of is, but still vague, i must do more to search about the sirit.  But for now its the voice within, the rohesy or the seaking of tongues that you would do, seeing visions and dreams.  But although we dont need to reare for these kinds of "gifts" i think to a certain extent we must live Godly lives.  WE MUST RESS ON!, God can do anything regardless if we are struggling with things like lust(ornograhy), laziness, cheating, cussing, he can definitely still use us.  By His strenght alone, NOT ours.  So i feel like we shouldnt neglect what he has given to us, which is new life.  THis life that we have received that makes us new everyday is something we should llove, and soemthing that gives us hoe in our days.  I feel like if we are to have this sirit live within us how can we have our hearts (Homes) dirty.  How can we kee on living in this sin that we store u within our hearts and say God this is my offering.  I know that in my own life i sin everyday, every hour, every minute, every second.  And i know that it might seem like a lot, but its the truth, i truly take to heart when aul said i am the greatest sinner ever, because to me, i am the biggest sinner ever.  I know of the deths he has brought me from but i still crawl and crawl back to my whole, MY DITCH!  But theres hoe, He is the hoe.  And i cant escae it, because whenever i lack, he holds me u, He is my stronghold that cannot be conquered, BECUAES he has conquered it already.

Another verse that touched me was Verse Fourty Five. 

Selling their ossessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need.

WIth this i feel like it ertains us as leaders, or servants soo much.  How leader " " that word kind of disgusts me, i really dont want to be conisdered a leader but someone that chases after God, i mean who am i in my own right HAS a right to be considered that.  I was once referred to as a astor, and to my own knowledge a astor is someone to be looked u to for his or her knowledge and assion, which is something i lack in both areas.  My desires are stuck on these goods and ossessions.  A lot of times i cant seem to give u what i treasure the most, and sometimes its God, but other times its this world.  IM STUCK!, but God shows us that we need to give it all u.  With our small grou, we need to give u our time, we cant just eat with our own friends or who were comfortable with, we need to care for these brothers and sisters of ours.  Selfishly we always think of ourselves, and ask who can feed us, who can take me out to talk, but as leaders we need to be resonsible, we have taken the call, taken the slack, and were working as servants to these eole.  We cant be filled with ride and say were leaders because were not fit to lead.  Were followers of the Lord, Jesus. And we need to follow with all that we have.  OUR lates are filled, we need to dig in (small grou members), or band hahahaha =).  

but yes, WE need to hold it u high and say, God take all of me, i have NOTHING! but YOU! and you are all i need. =)

good dya,

daily bread.

Acts One,

Taken, 

Throughout the chater it was just seaking about the events that haenned following Jesus's crucifixion.  It soke of those things he had done after he had rose again to rove to his disciles and followers that it was alright but it was as i can across verse four that was such an encouragement to something i have been struggling with for a long time.

verse FOUR says, 

On one occasion, while he was eating with them, he gave them this command, "Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father romised, which you have heard me seak about.

One way or another i feel like the message Jesus was giving was to fight, resevere, and to realize that even though there will be troubles down the road, the gift is never and will never be on this earth which is eternal life with the Father.  So as i seak about my own exeriences i hoe you think about your own.  Serving at Cornerstone Christian Fellowshi is definitely a toughy, in every asect i get discouraged by so many things and is definitely not weight that i should not carry on my shoulders ... right? NO! wrong, i struggle with these things because i care, sometimes i just feel like not caring, no really, i love Jesus but sometimes i want to throw in the towel and just leave, but in this assage and through this assage Jesus is egging me on to definitely stay at Cornerstone and wait for His romise, that if we stay faithful and kee on ressing on His glory will definitely fall.  I struggle a lot because i feel like we arent doing enough, each and every single one of us.  Me as a raise leader, sometimes icking songs selfishly, or wanting everything done my way or not meeting with eole just frustrate my heart so much.  Becuase through my exeriences as a Christian i know that whatever stage or season you are in with you walk with Christ you always have that desire to learn and grow, but if we as the leaders do not do our best to do that we cannot fulfill what God asks of us, to tend to His shee.  I want all of His eole to feel the love that i eel at the same time when i realized the awesome ower and holiness, love, goodness, faithfulness of God haha i mean it was awesome right =).  But there is so much more that i could do to bring that to our church congregation.  For waht i know, from my beliefs i know that friday and sunday is NOT enough, its the bare minimum.  We as leaders need to take u our cross and give u what we love, whether it be societal sins as in ornograhy, or swearing, or even just giving someone the cold shoulder and giving them a bad attitude.  We need to grow u, lain and simle, we cannot act as babies because "lives" are deeding on us to do Gods work, if we dont, then we've failed it all. 

God hel us. 

John TWENTY ONE!

So today, we had this chater for bible study, weird ey. haha but still blessed, God tries to teach m eeveryday so i wont take this any more secial or any less secial because God is always trying to teach me, so here goes. 

The first thing that really caught my eye in this chater was when eter and Jesus had finished eating, from Verse 15-17, it says when they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon eter, "simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?"  "yes, Lord," he siad, "you know that i love you."  Jesus said feed my lambs."  Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?"  He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that i love you."  Jesus said, "take care of my shee."  The third time he said to him, "simon son of John, do you love me?"  eter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "do you love me?"  He said, "Lord, you know all things, you know that i love you."

When i see this, i feel like there is an urgency for us, i mean eter failed to recognize Jesus when he was called to roclaim His name by standing u for the man that was his saviour.  I feel that when we look into our lives we should really ut ourselves into the shoes of eter and have Jesus ask us the same questions.  like aul do you love me, and reeat it however many times it needs to be done, and ask yourself what love is to you.  If you love me then would you do this, this and this.  And even in my own life i question it a lot and is truggle but at the same time its a struggle i might go through because i want to be with my God and father. 

ANOTHER verse that really caught me by surrise, like i had no clue what it was really trying to say or even tell me.  This was right after the do you love me art, it says Jesus said, "feed my shee.  I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted, but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go."  Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death eter would glorify God.  Then he siad to him, "Follow me!".

hmmmm, now that i look at it i mean im still nto sure what its reallys aying but from my viewoint our lives are for service, no matter how you look at it =), awesome.  But when it seaks about being "Younger" it means our lives as nonbelievers, utting on the "clothes" that we wanted to, which was sin.  But as we get older, and have our hearts transformed by Christ we are called uon by his love and faithfulness to bring glory to God, 

YET AGAIN! its a call to Christ.  FOLLOW ME he says, FOLLOW ME!

yeah, follow him, =) alright, ill do it. 

my bread.

John TWENTY!, Almost twentyone, this is craazy, I think God might be trying to teach me something in twenty one ey?

SOOOOOO  THIS TIME THROUGH!

my quiet time was JOHN TWENTY!, and although there were its moments while i read there were some oints in this when it gave me insight and encouragement.

such as ...

Verse One, it says . Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance.  So she came running to Simon eter and the other discile, the one Jesus loved, and said, "They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don't know where they have ut him!?

After reading this it just kind of reminded me of us, eole, sinners.  And how even in the bible it says be slow to seak and quick to listen.  Mary was told, the disciles were told that after he was crucified he would rise again because that was what he was called to do, to die for his shee, as the sheard he took the bite from the wolf on behalf of all the shee that were in his flock.  But he overcame the cross, grave, and everything else to find us where we were.  But mary just so quickly ran and thought that SOMETHING MUST HAVE HAENED because his body was missing.  I feel like for myself i am just so like that, without think i do, say, and think whatever i want, i must find atience within God.  I must find reality within his resence, and that is when i will truly find rest in my soul.  Its hard, but i must ress on.

Adding onto what i just wrote was from verse Nine, they still did not understand from scriture that Jesus had to rise from the dead.  WE CANNOT, I REEAT CANNOT DO IT ALONE! we need to take away our ride and just give our lives to JESUS~!!!!!.

NEXT!

SEVENTEEEN!, do not hold on to me, for i have not yet returned to the Father.  Go instead to my brothers and tell them, 'I am returning to my Father and your father to my God and your God.  

Seriously this is an amazing view, its like a sunset, no, like a waterfall, NO! like a sunset and a waterfall =), no just kidding, but thats how great it is IT CANNOT BE EXLAINED OR CONTAINED within one single good thing.  God is that great.  But the thing i love about this section is this.  I am returning to my Father and YOUR FATHER (highlight that), to my God and YOUR GOD.!!! Its that in which we find our eace and strength.  God considers us his children even when he made his son, his ONLY son to die on the cross.  So my thing is this, my challenge, if you have any "beef" or animosity towards your father i urge you, i URGENTLY urge you to mend the relationshi, because it is affecting your love life with God, God wants to love you as a child but because of your broken relationshi with your father on earth you cant sincerely call God your "father".  Ask forgiveness for yourself, your father for the hurts the ains and other things he might have done in your life, but know that God is bigger then this because he is your TRUE FATHER!

i know taht when i become a father, i will try to gain ownershi over my children and yes i will, BUT! i only have them for rental, i am just their babysitter until they go to their real father.

so raise God, that we can call him father, abba, abbujee, =) whatever else you may call your dad. Just be thaankful that he loves us =)    SOOOO OMUCH

OH HHHHH SOOO MUCH!

 +0

My daily bread.

John Nineteen, But not really.

So heres the thing, although i read John 19, i feel a conviction or just a feeling to just think about, reflect ourselves as divided hearts. so here goes.

Throughout our lives we seek for something... something like a hobby, studies, or in this case the oosite sex.  For me, this struggle is the worst in my siritual life, and i know this because i struggle with this day in and day out.  *Girls if you are reading this, lease dont judge me because its a sin that i struggle with in a serious matter, and guys if you read this ray for me as i will ray for you also in the same manner*.  Its a struggle that almost, and i say almost with a little bit of sarcasm for its worth is little.  The reason why is because almost is retty much all the time, which is so terrible.   Our concentration is on this little thing called love, but honestly, who are we to know what love is.  Recently i've been reading this book called I've kissed dating goodbye by Joshua Harris, and i recommend it to all of you, single or not. ALL OF YOU should read it =).   But as it is teaching me about different things its definitely teaching me how the oosite sex if you are not ready to commit, which i think none of us are, we have no right to be in a relationshi.  If we are not ready to get down on one knee, love her like Jesus loves us, and say ill lay down my life for you honey then we are totally not ready.  For this reason i feel like whatever season we are in we should concentrate our time, money, health, studies on Jesus.  Not just the oh im studying for God but secretly studying for the 90,000$ aycheck at the end of each month but earnestly seeking the best for the kingdom of God.  WE as small grou leaders, raise leaders, and whatever else there is to serve need to ste u our game lan.  We need diligence, and seaking as someone that is lacking in that area so much can find it so easy to oint out that to others.  But i too will try harder to be more diligent.  Little things like not getting the song sheets to the band on tuesday instead of wednesday night or thursday afternoon is one examle.  Because of these things i am causing my fellow brothers and sisters to stumble, not because im giving them so late, but because i myself am doing it halfheartedly, and although they may not notice it is something i know i need to fix.

Our hearts are broken, yes, BUT, we musn't stand idle as we watch them break into tiny little ieces.  When we engage our hearts to something of a matter of the oosite sex giving them time, money, or giving into sexual immorality we give a little iece of our hearts to them and not to God.  When God deserves our best and we give him a iece.  

Whats our best? Whats are worst? isnt that also a question we should ask ourselves.  In the darkness its so easy to search for light, but what if in the light the darkness seeks us, binds us, and covers us.  The light is where we need to stay, and as vessels of Jesus, our Lord and Saviour its our resonsibility to be this "light" to the eole of our church, and ALSO those outside.  I feel as if sometimes eole ut on a show, like if your kind at church, and then outside your this big unk. haha =) i used to be like that, although i didnt fulfill that kind art in life.  I was the unk, never liked anything, disobeyed, cussed every moment, and so many other things all to fill my heart with what, self gratification because im lacking something in my own heart.

I feel like we need to evaluate all of our hearts, regardless of how clean we all think we are, were not. haha and im in no way saying that my heart is clean, but we all need to. As a team, as a brotherhood/sisterhood we need to do it for Christ, for those we serve to an immediate caacity, we need to be lights.  Fully and intimately bound in the love of Christ we need to go straight on.

and some of you guys might say that abandoning all we know and just heading for Christ and his glory might be hard but honestly guys, we need to grow u and smell ?? anything and everything.  Our lives arent getting any better from submitting ourselves to sin, i would say its getting worse.  For examle, my INFATUATION with women has gotten me into a lot of self esteem issues and it does make me feel lonely.  But its because i dont look at the bigger icture of, oh yeah, God has someone reared for me, im just going to wait and kee on rearing myself for the man that the Lord wants me to be.

We need to run toward His light, learn from it, and be like it.  Otherwise our lives are meaningless and im always reminded of the verse, not sure where it is but its about the things we say and that if we kee on saying them our words will be like a resounding gong, i might be totally wrong bahahah but =) raise God anyways because i try to kee my words true, and ill look it u later =) but yeah, 

lets be ure, and really strive towards God, with our service and love. 

and by the way the verses that just got to me was after each fulfillment haened john had written that so the scritures may be fulfilled.  And although our saviour died, and yes it is a sad sight it was still done to save our souls, so how terrible is it that we as sinner, also sons and daughters of God take that for granted, how terrible of us.

we need to seek change, we need to. 

Good day,

My daily bread.